Friday, September 12, 2014

Snarky Bitch continues taking on the State Park patrons

   There are 3 basic questions I asked every weekend this summer. They are, loosely in order:
1) How many people in the vehicle?
2) Is anyone in the car a (state I live in) resident?
3) Any children in carseat or booster seats? (When the language barrier broke down, I'd revert to "Any children in safety seats?" and after that I pantomimed buckling a child's carseat!)

    You'd think the first one is mostly a no-brainer. I mean, people is pretty inclusive right? So when I ask for "total number of people", it's logical to include all children in the car right? Wrong! I had to remind people that "Kids are people too!", so often that my co-workers and I joked it should be printed on a button we wear on our uniform! It's almost comical how often after asking for "total people", then adding "including all children", the number almost doubled!
    Please, say it with me: KIDS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

   The second question led to a lot of "lost my wallet" responses, when I asked for (state I live in) drivers license or other state-issued photo identification! Also, there are a lot of drivers driving without a license on them. Gods I wish just once there was a cop around when these total fuckfaces left the park!
   To be fair, there was more than one drunk driver snagged by park police! Always a good feeling. But it begs the question: How does one get drunk in a park that prohibits alcohol? (A sad point-of-fact: more than one person saw the "Alcohol Prohibited" sign and thought it was "Alcohol Permitted", and by thought I mean they had no idea that prohibited meant not allowed!)

   Finally, the third question. It's a simple question, are kids in a carseat or a booster seat?  It's a simple "yes" or "no" question. If "yes" I need a number. Not too difficult. And yet every weekend I have to count heads and remind parents that the question refers to safety seats, not carseats.
   I also reminded parents to buckle their children up. (Although the most awesome and sadly unrecorded GIF of the season went to a co-worker who did a "click, click" dance for one particularly ignorant father!)

   And before I leave, let me ask you this, which is a hotly debated question:
Is it a stereotype if it's been statistically proven to be true??

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