Evidently the person who had our home number before us was named Veronica. She owes money to a couple utility companies, is either attending or interested in attending DeVry University and has not updated her contact information. How do I know this?
Because every day, for the last 2 weeks, I've gotten 3-10 calls a day for this person. Some of the callers are nice and apologize. One person, because obviously if a female voice answers the phone I must be the person just lying about my identity, was exceptionally rude.
The first couple days I was tolerant. The next few days, less so. When I was able to recognize voices as people I've spoken to before, thus having already told them Veronica is unreachable at this number since it had been reassigned as of June 2012, I started to get pissy.
One pissy conversation went like this:
me: Hello?
caller: Is Veronica X there?
me: No, I'm sorry this number was reassigned as of June 2012.
caller: Oh, well it's vitally important that I reach her, might you have forwarding information?
me: Are you serious right now? The number was reassigned, it's not like she was a friend of mine who moved away, I don't know the person who people have been calling for every day for the last two weeks.
caller: Oh, well who am I speaking with?
me: Oh annoyed person with no life, evidently.
caller: Well I have good news for you, this call is for you.
me: No, it's not. The call is for Veronica and she's no longer here. That does not mean you get to try to short straw me into what ever you were going to sell her.
caller: But ma'am this is a special offer for your household only.
me: I'm beginning to understand why Veronica didn't want this number anymore....*calls off into the distance* what's that? the house is on fire? well let it burn down, might be the only way I get this crazy bitch off the phone. *speaks back into the phone* Oh, are you still talking?
caller: If you're busy I'll call back at a better time.
me: Please, I'm asking politely, do not ever call this number again. It's already registered on the Do Not Call list, but you've gotten around that, so I'm telling you: Do Not Call. I'll have a whistle next time.
Caller: Oh but one more minute please...
me: no *hang up*
Mac says just hang up, and while that seems the most straightforward way to deal with this, I prefer to have a little fun with this assholes. I have caller id, I know how many times a week numbers are calling me. While one person may have only called me once, the number called me 7 times in 5 days. You have your forms of entertainment, I have mine.
Next time put Nixon on the phone, tell him it's Santa.
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