A car alarm only works if someone is there to catch the crime....otherwise it's a noise violation, you fucktard!

Dear neighbors on vacation,
    I realize you must be oh-so worried about your second vehicle while you're on vacation. That's the only explanation I can come up with for why your car alarm is so sensitive that a flea sneeze sets it off. What puzzles me though, is what exactly you expect this to accomplish when no one is home to hear the alarm.
   That is, no one is home at your house. Everyone in the neighborhood hears your alarm. I live directly across the parking lot, your car is parked less than 5 yards from my bedroom window. I hear your alarm. Every single fucking time the goddamned thing goes off I hear it. At 3am? I hear it. In fact, I can tell you the exact pattern it's set to go off at. That's how fucking often this goddamned thing has gone off in the 6 days you've been gone!
   For the record, your car alarm has gone off because the path behind our complex was being paved. It went off during a thunderstorm. It went off when the ice cream truck came by. I'm pretty sure it dislikes the color of flowers blooming nearby because it's gone off randomly without cause and when there's been no one around it.
   Also, why in the fuck would you even have a car alarm set to go off when you're not home? I mean, what's the goddamned point? It's not like you're going to stop a break-in, are you? I sure as fuck won't, given that I'm willing to let someone steal that piece of shit just so the cocksuck alarm is silenced for good! In all honesty, I'd like to set the car on fire just so there's a real reason for the fucking thing to screech, beep and flash every 4-15 seconds! Also, every time it goes off the neighbors dogs start barking. So thanks for that too!

   You are a true piece of spoiled cunt juice. It's a shame you are not here to deal with the insanity that is your dumbass car alarm.

Sincerely,
One pissed off, sleep-deprived neighbor. There will be payback for this......