Thursday, August 1, 2013

Apparently, my cellphone suddenly developed a personality that is similar to that of a born-again-virgin....fucking slut!

  I, like almost every other American over the age of (oh, I don't know....12, 15, 18 for sure) have a strong and serious dependent relationship with my phone. It's nothing fancy, a smart phone, but like the dumbest version I could possibly get. It's like the "Smart Phone for Dummies" of smart phones. But, I love it because we get 3g, wireless, unlimited....blah, blah, blah and it's only $55 a month.

   So, because my phone's kind of a bitch, yep it's totally my phone, it has raging periods of refusing it's charger. It will give a message that says "Unable to charge battery with incompatible charger. Please check user manual." I'm using the exact same charger I've been using that came in the motherfucking box with the goddamned phone since day mother-fucking one! I will get this message, like no shit, for a week and then POOF, no more message and the phone is not acting schizo anymore (not to insult Amanda Bynes or anyone else battling with this evil mental illness).

   What's frustrating is: I have no other way to charge my phone when it does this shit! Tonight, the hub's is at work with his phone (same model and same problem but he's had at least 3-4 different chargers since we got the phone last summer) and his charger. So I'm raging pissed, because while my phone is a schizo pms-ing bitch, I'm just a straight up tired fucking bitch who is starting to rolling with the gentle tidal wave that will become PMS.

   Which all led to this:
   So I might have issues, but my phone was previously a slut who would get a charge from any compatible dick charger, but now is refusing ALL compatible chargers. I'm starting to get why high school boys were so hostile and angry when their girlfriends suddenly stopped putting out after a pregnancy scare...that her best friend had! It's fucking frustrating! I know you like a good charge, you know I like a good, full battery let's stop with the games and just charge your fucking battery and call it a fucking day!
   Goddamned fucking charge-tease!

**at least spell check has stopped trying to get my to correct my usage of "fuck" and it's variations! It's about damned time, yo!


  1. Maybe she'll start putting out..
    ...taking in??? er...charging, again???

    1. Well she's charged, but it took over 10 hours and her constant "bitching" the whole time! And by bitching I mean non-stop messages about non-compatible charger.

  2. I could use this on a t-shirt: "I know you like a good charge; you know I like a good, full battery."