Thursday, October 31, 2013

When the snarky bitch is now a mom, it becomes a balancing act to control the snarkasm*

   Today is Halloween.
   Wait, that's not right. It should be: Today is motherfucking Halloween, bitches!!

   This morning, Little Man got dressed up in his costume and I was able to go to school with him for his first ever school Halloween party! And holy shit, y'all, was it something to behold! There were Disney Princesses, Iron Men, Ninja Turtles, Spiderman, a Supergirl, an astronaut, a police officer and then there was Little Man totally proud, happy and content in his Pinkie Pie costume!
My Little Pinkie Pie...with his teacher. 

   The kids were all standing by the door as each child came in, waiting to see what everyone was wearing. The girls were totally in love with Little Man's costume! Even a couple boys gave him a high-five and said they liked it. Then....there was the "mean table" of 2 boys that started saying Little Man was dressed as a girl and he was a doll from Lalaloopsie. I guess they thought it was going to bother Little Man, as they said it quite loudly and to everyone who asked what Little Man's costume was. They were wrong. Little Man totally ignore them and said "I'm Pinkie Pie!" and went on to enjoy his other friends costumes.
   When that was getting a reaction, punkass-kid decided to start following Little Man around telling him he was a girl. Little Man, not realizing this was being done in a cruel manner, turned around and told the child "I'm a boy." in case the kid was confused.
    Now, I'm watching all this go down. Punkass-kid was only doing this shit when the teachers were distracted by other children or setting up an activity. Little shit's slick, I'll give him that.

    What bothered me most is there were other mothers who never stepped in to say something. Sure, it's the teachers classroom, but there were times I saw the kids doing things I knew the teachers don't allow, so I said something to stop it. (throwing the reading pillows at each other clearly stood out in my mind, as I know I've seen both teachers tell the kids the pillows are to stay on the floor and not be used to hit anyone) Yet, instead of trying to remind kids that Halloween costumes are about creativity and fun, these mothers were throwing Little Man questionable looks themselves when they saw his costume and heard what he was. Out of the almost 10 parents there this morning, one....motherfucking one!...mother said hello to me. Hell, she was the only one who even returned my smile. I wasn't giving off a bitch vibe! I'd had my coffee before going, I was there to "play nice". It's Halloween, it's supposed to be fun, right??
    Evi-fucking-dently not. It felt just as cliquey as any high school classroom I can remember. I wasn't dressed right, my kid wasn't playing the right way, his costume wasn't gender correct....for all those things it felt as if I was invisible.
    Except to the kids. There were a couple little girls who know me as "Little Man's Mom" and said hi, then quickly asked where he was and what he was wearing (they hadn't seen him yet). One little girl, especially, was super happy to see Little Man. She's the nicest to him and it warms my heart that he has a little friend like her. She's the first to say "hi" and she tries to say "bye" every day. It's adorable!

    Then the worst happened. Punkass-kid decided to take advantage of a group photo and sit next to Little Man. He kept picking on him, and was getting he elbowed Little Man in the collarbone. Little Man told the teacher, she said it must've been an accident but I'm positive it wasn't. Today really made me realize my son is a strong individual. He's been telling us about these two "mean boys" for almost a month now. I've talked to the teachers and the school director and they've assured me they're watching the situation, but they only have so many eyes for so many kids, right?
   I brought Little Man home a little later. He had fun but was way overwhelmed and I couldn't hold my tongue much longer.

   What bothers me isn't that the kid was being a total shit! It's that he's smart enough to know how to get away with being a bully without being caught. For some reason these 2 boys have teamed up and think Little Man is a good target for them to pick on, but he doesn't care. He really doesn't care what people say about him because he doesn't yet grasp the concept of cruelty and words.
   The raging MommaBear-bitch in me wanted to explode on that little shit and ask how he even know what a Lalaloopsie doll was, if it's so girly. The assumption is he has a sister, but who the fuck cares?!? These kids are 4 and 5, they should be too young to be taunting each other with the intent to be mean, right? Kids are not born mean. Fuck, if it was a genetic thing, Little Man would be one mean little fuck, because my family alone has quite the evil-steak in us. But he's not. Instead he's a kind, funny, genuinely sweet kid and that's his nature from birth. I'm nurturing him to be himself, not some false bravado asshole shell of a person. I'm trying to let him be confidant in his own skin, which isn't always easy when ADULTS judge children for being a child.
   I adore my child. I adore who he is. I want him to be himself and not feel the need to fit in just to be liked. But fucken-a is it damned hard to do when I was the outsider growing up, the bullied kid and the one that wanted so badly to fit in. I need to break my bad habits and help him be stronger than I was.
   I have to say, from what I saw today, he's doing okay. He ignored the comments and didn't hit back. He did cry, but he's 4 I feel he's allowed to cry when upset at this age. He's a kid, goddammit!


  1. I probably would have lost it on the 2 boys and then gone after their mommas. Ugh people these days and even back when are so stupid! I hope he had fun trick or treating.

    1. Since it was colder for trick or treating, he wore a different costume and he had a total blast!
      It was very hard for me to contain myself, but Little Man was handling things just fine on his own so I stood back. There's lots of ignorance in this world and he's just now seeing it, thankfully he's awesome and ignores it for the most part.