Saturday night. Geek Sailor (GS) is working the overnight shift this weekend and UH (uterus hostage) had gone to bed a little later than usual, because it's the weekend. I got comfortable on the sofa and started watching the shows I had recorded during the week.
I don't normally flip a switch and start getting paranoid, especially when it comes to my marriage. We're very honest and have an unbelievable level of trust, given we've been burned by past lovers. Well, I know I have been burned for sure.
Which is why, when the phone rang a little after midnight, I assumed it was GS calling even though he's much more likely to text or Voxer me. I didn't reach the house phone in time. Because I had to run upstairs and the phone ringer was set low so I didn't hear it right away. When I did reach it, there was a new voicemail waiting.
Before checking the voicemail, I looked at the caller ID. I didn't know the name or number that had called. I dialed the house number and checked the voicemail:
"Hi. It's me. It's late, but I'm still up. I didn't know which number to call. Call my room number if you're awake. Love ya"
Did I mention it was a woman's voice?!? No. Yeah, it was a woman's voice.
I immediately started messaging GS to find out what the mother-fuck was going on! Who the hell was this chick calling my HOME number, not giving a name and saying "Love ya"?!?!
I under 3 minutes I had myself convinced my entire marriage was going to blow up.
Then GS called me, after he read the message I sent him with the voicemail and phone number. Any man who is having an affair wouldn't blindly let his known-to-be-crazy-and-vindictive wife call an unfamiliar phone number when the caller left a message ending with "love ya".
But that's exactly what GS was okay with me doing. I called the number from the home phone again, got voicemail and hung up. Why should I leave a message?
The woman called me back, less than 5 minutes later.
Random caller: Uh....
RC: Hi. I'm sorry, I just saw you called me.
me: Uh, yeah....I don't know who you're trying to call.
RC: Oh! You're not Karen?
RC: Is this Karen's number?
RC: Oh! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I called so late. I've got the wrong number.
me: Ya think?!
Now, GS was impressed because I didn't go off on this woman and tell her she nearly ruined our marriage with her inability to listen to a mailbox message before leaving a message like that. Our outgoing message HAD both our names plus last names in it. Well, had. Because as off last night, I changed it to be a very clear and contrite message with just our family's last name.
I guess, if he gave me reason too, I could assume the worst. Instead, we're joking about how the phone call was for me since she was clearly a lesbian looking for a hookup! HA HA
That's how our marriage works. In the span of 20 minutes, I went from pissed, convinced my marriage was over to joking about my lesbian lover calling the house phone and leaving me a love message.