I love my son, but sometimes he's a "douche"

No seriously, he is.

Like yesterday. I'm not exactly fit, but I'm far from needing a maumau or couch cover to wear. Sure I'm carrying a few extra LBs these days, but after living in a hotel then going to a commune for over a month than a house with no real kitchen gear for 3 weeks, it's understandable. I know I've got some work to do, but I don't need the hub's mini-me pulling down my shirt because my hips and stomach are showing. WE WERE ALONE IN THE HOUSE FOR FUCKS SAKE!! Yes, he did that.

I try, an effort in vain some times, to teach Nixon to give women compliments. I'll ask him "Nixon does mommy look pretty today?" Usually he'll give an enthusiastic "Yes!" but a few times he'll just look at me and say "no" and walk away. See?? If a boyfriend or husband did that they'd be sleeping on the sofa because we'd call them a douchecaneo assbag fucktard! Who's going to break my son of this habit? Me, his mom, his giver of life. You are welcome future girlfriends in his life. Now don't break his heart or I'll have to cut you!

Also, why does he ask for something to eat, then decide I "made it wrong"? How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich wrong? Apparently, you use white bread.

**I do not really think my son is a douche. He's just 3 1/2-years old and exhibits the occasional douche-like behavior. Please no hate mail, I really love my son!
My cat? Well she's a total bitch!!**