Thursday, November 29, 2012

I still hate humanity, but its fun making people smile in the process

Not once, but twice today I found myself shaking my head at the stupidity of others. Thankfully, their stupidity was not directed towards me (I know, I was shocked too!), so it was quite easy for me to giggle quietly to myself and make a little joke, or two.

  The first was at a craft store, which may or may not be the same as a common male first name. The woman ahead of me in line wanted a refund on ribbon she "bought" a week ago. But she had no receipt, she took it out of her jacket pocket and she would not accept store credit. It was less than $5 and she was moving to Virginia, where she insisted there was not a chain of these stores. The "kid" cashier explained he couldn't do what she was asking, he could offer store credit only, there were (enter store name here) in Virginia and offered to call a manager if she'd like but she'd have to step aside so he could take care of the other customers while she waited for the manager to come up and resolve the issue. At this point, the lady re-pocketed the ribbon and stormed out of the store, leaving the cashier a little confused as to what the bloody hell just happened.
  Since he started the refund transaction, prior to realizing the woman was a batshit crazy nut, he had to call his manager to override it so he could continue with mine. Not a big deal, right? I mean, the kid was only doing his job and following store procedure.
    Not according to his "peach" (its slang for cunt bitch) of a manager. She comes barreling around the corner, raging that it better be important because her office isn't locked up, her purse is exposed because of the stupid auditor from last week and "what do you want now?". The cashier explains and she scribbles something then turns away. I tell her "He was seriously, just doing his job." She rolls her eyes at me and storms away. At this point I feel really bad for this kid, who is flaming bright red. So I tell him:
   "It's okay, later on slip her a Midol, tell her it's a tic-tac and you're life will be much easier". Not only does the kid laugh, the lady standing behind us cracks a giggle!
Honestly, if your going to be a bitch, be a bitch in your office!

   I picked up the most awesome (in photos at least) artificial tree ever today!
It's a 6.5ft, pre-lit, black tree! Yep, you read correctly, BLACK, tree!

While waiting in line to get the item I had this conversation:
me (to sales associate): I'm so glad your store had it. We had ordered it at another store but the order was canceled because there were none in stock and they are sold out online.
sales associate: oh-no, we have plenty in stock here!
me: I can't believe no one wants a black tree!
lady in line behind me: A tree?? Is that right?
me: Yeah! A black tree. It's like a white one, but it's black!
a 2nd sales associate: "it's like a white one, but it's black" I have to tell my husband that one tonight! (I should mention the 1st associate is a whitey like me and ole nosy ass behind me and 2nd associate is of the non-whitey persuasion)
lady behind me: That just seems wrong. A black christmas tree.
me: More black tree for me! Thanks! *as I depart with my box o' black tree*

So happy might be racist if you think a black artificial tree is "wrong"! I think it's awesome!!

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