Thursday, November 29, 2012

"Mommy Wars" and why I secretly hate humanity

  I don't care if you birthed 'em, "bought" 'em (adopted for the politically correct crowd) or had 'em created like a science project....if you have kids you've heard of the mommy wars. In fact, it began with which of those 3 situations makes you the best mom. Are you less of a mom if you can't carry your child in your own body? Who the fuck cares?!?! If you are changing the diapers, burping, cleaning the vomit and poop, plus dealing with teething and tantrums...then you, my friend, are a mom! And yes, men are moms too!

 The war never goes away, it changes fronts. It goes from parenting style to pre-school choices. Are you putting your kids in sports? What ages? What sports? How many activites? Are they in daycare? Do you work? When are they going to start kindergarten? *this one I hear more often than some parents might, due to Nixon's birthday. He misses the cut-off to start at 5, so he won't start until the Sept before his 6th birthday. So a common discussion is early testing to test up*

 I get wanting to gauge what's normal and where your child is in regards to normal. A lot of parents fall to the pressure that they know their child is excelling and is beyond their peers. I compare myself to other moms behaviors and compare Nixon's tantrums in public, not his development. Why? Because I don't really like comparing him to other kids. Seems unfair. He's his own kid, ya know.

 But that doesn't seem to stop other moms from comparing their kids to every other child around their kid! Including mine. Is he socially awkward? Yes. But, um hello, so am I! Hell, Nixon wasn't even walking on his own until he was 15 months. He was low-crawling until he was 13.5 months. And he was faster crawling on his belly than his friends who were walking! Did he care? Nope. Did I care? You fucking bet I did! Because I had more than one person telling me he was "slow". (fucking cunt!)

 Yes, I'm catty. Yes, I'm bitchy and I tend to talk shit about people I don't know. But kids are off limits! I try very, very hard to set that example with Nixon. I can't explain it but I want him to give every child a fair shake, even if his mom is thinking nasty, bitchy thoughts about the kid's mom who is standing right behind him. Because, who knows, she maybe a very cool person in the end but with Nixon I may never know. I'm not trying to make new friends. I've had a lifetime of friends (and half a lifetime of them stab me in the back) so I've met my quota, Nixon hasn't yet.

  The point is: judge and compare me and my parenting all you want. But my kid and his abilities (or lack there off) are off limits! Even if I have a concern or two, I don't need you over selling something your kid is doing to make me feel any more of a failure than I already do. There are no winners in the Mommy Wars. NO Supreme Empress or Ultimate Momma  Just a bunch of bitchy cunts burning the village and taking turning wearing the village idiot crown.

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