Snarky Bitch vs my logic and math-impaired son

"You never find me something to watch!" whines the former uterus hostage. Now please bear with me, we just spent 2 hours watching mind numbingly annoying kid-friendly shows, but I NEVER find anything for him to watch.
"Are you kidding me?!", was my awesome comeback for him.
Let the tears of righteous indignation begin to flow! "No! I am not kidding you. You never find me something to watch! NEVER!" as his bottom lip is trembling and tears are flowing down his face. Is that snot I see??
I sigh, lift up my left hand and begin the math portion of this conversation.
*lifting one finger* "Who just wanted to watch America's Funniest Videos?" I ask UH.
Still crying he says "Me".
*onto the next finger, 2 are held up now* "And who likes Dora?"
Again, still crying, wiping his nose on his sleeve, "Me".
*holding up 3 fingers now* "What about LaLaLoopsie? Who likes that?"
More tears, but a smile as well, "I do!"
*the 4th and final finger on my left hand is now up* "And what about TUFF Puppy? Who do we know that likes that show?"
The tears are slowing down, but the snot...it is a-flowing, "I do".
*Moving to my right hand now, I hold up one finger* "This is how many shows I like and got to watch. So again, I never find something for you to watch? Still believe that?"
This incredible kid of mine, starts crying full-on again and says to me "Because you never let me watch anything when I ask to!"
I'll admit it, I lost my mom cool for a moment and said "Are you kidding me?!? You watched 4 shows tonight, I watched 1! One show, UH! Look at my hands! There are 4 fingers of shows you wanted, and got to, watch but only 1 show for me!" *at this point I pause and ask him which hand had more fingers, he chose the left hand with the 4 fingers showing*
He says to me "Uh-huh, and you won't let me watch another show, so you NEVER find me something to watch", and cue the tears, snot and quivering bottom lip.
I sigh at him, go to the kitchen, grab a drink return to the living room, turn off the TV and let him know it's bath time before asking him to put away his toys for the night.

I mean, for fucking real! This kid knows math! He told me the right hand had fewer fingers up than the left, but in his mind, I never let him watch anything because the second he asked me to find him something to watch I didn't jump like lightening struck me and give in to his demands! What a total bitch his mom is!
I'm pretty sure he's going to have a full-on TV blackout for a couple days. This is beyond selfishness and I'm over it!

Snarky Bitch Mom, out!

Evidently, my husband hates me....why else would he force me to pick one?!?!

My hubs and I were watching Dish Nation together. They were discussing the Roast of James Franco, and talking about his hygiene issues. Why women are dropping panties for him I don't get, and I say as much to Hubs, who comes up with this "fun" game:
Hubs: If you had to choose one: James Franco or Robert Pattinson, who would you do?
me: Can I join a convent?
Hubs: No, you have to choose one.
me: Can I kill myself instead?
Hubs: No. You know the rules, you gotta pick one. James Franco or Robert Pattinson?
me: I feel dirty just thinking about this, you know.
Hubs: That's still not choosing one.
me:.....*deep sigh* Robert Pattinson.

My logic is pretty flawless: RP has been in 4 movies with Taylor Lautner, therefore I can easily fantasize about TL while with RP and never once have to actually think about RP. With JF it will require way too much imagination to make him less dirty and I'm not working that hard just because I had to "choose one".

The moral of this post? There isn't one....other than my hubs likes to ruin my sex drive with gross "pick one" options sometimes. And then won't even let me kill myself as an option to get out of making a choice.

Down, but not giving up!

   Anyone who has dealt with depression themselves or watched a loved one battle this demon, knows it's a bitch. I've watched family members and friends face-off against this monster most of my life. Some win, with a lot of help, and for some its a losing battle, because they can't/won't ask for help. I, myself, take medications to keep my head straight. It's not depression but it's a mental issue none-the-less, which was affecting me as a mother/wife/friend and person. I needed help and finally realized it was time to get it when I saw fear in my child's eyes as he looked at me. Never again, was the thought I had when I admitted it was time to fix my shit.

   I'm not home. That's not true. I'm home with my husband and son. My family. I'm not home with the family I came from not created, if that makes sense. Without going into a lot of details, my dad is facing some health issues which seem to have sent him into another downward spiral of depression. A family member, who does live just miles from my parents, saw my dad recently and noticed he is not taking care of himself. Rather than stopping to talk to him and ask how he's doing, this family member went about their business, barely pausing to say hello.
   Am I angry? You fucking bet I am! This family member is well aware of the struggles my father has had with depression. But instead of growing up and putting the past behind them, they insist on blanketing themselves in the past, holding on to it like a shield that justifies any and all slights they now do to my parents, out of spite or out of plain indifference, it doesn't matter. At this time, in my family's life, we can't choose where we live, the Navy dictates that for us. I do the best I can, living about 500 miles away, but for fucks sake, I have family that live less than 5 miles away and do nothing!

   Speaking of family. Who the fuck says "I've been depressed before too, but I still washed my ass"?!? An insensitive, self-righteous snot, that's who! I've seen people, I've been people, so depressed that eating, showering, even getting out of bed is a struggle. It's so hard to do. It doesn't need to be belittled and looked down upon by someone else claiming they understand depression and that's not depression! Fuck you! You were lucky, and you didn't sink down as deep as this person is sinking. Try tossing a lifeline of hope instead of judgement and condemnation!

   I don't know if I can help my dad. I don't know if he wants help. But I do know, I'm not judging him. He's got a plateful of shit sitting in front of him to digest and it seems to only get fuller and fuller as days go by.
    I want him to know, he's not alone. I'm not there by his side, but I'm in his heart.

   Sometimes, being a grown up really fucking sucks. Being a grown up far from home, when issues with parents arise, sucks even more. Knowing you're really the only one who wants to fight to save a loved one, but you're not physically there to make a difference....hurts like hell. But I'm not giving up!